A swinging community is going to be important for any couple who is interested in the lifestyle. There are several ways to find the communities local to you. Here are a few ways to find them and a few reasons this will be important.
One of the easiest ways to find your local swinging community is to look online. Here you can find forums and message boards that are set up just for swingers in your area. On the forums you will be able to communicate openly with other swingers, discuss aspects of swinging you are interested in, and get advice from other swingers. It’s also a good way to start networking and getting contact information for future events and parties. The sense of community is typically very strong on the forums, and it can help swingers overcome some of the stigma associated with being a swinger.
Another place to check for local community is your local swingers clubs. While most clubs will have larger events on the weekends, many will keep the lounge open through the week. This allows you to meet up and just chat with other swingers. Since swinging is something that many people choose to keep underground, it’s nice to meet others who do the same thing. It gives you a common interest and allows you to openly discuss the different aspects of your unique relationship that the layperson may not understand.
Being new to swinging can be overwhelming. There are so many rules to remember, and it can make anyone nervous to have to approach others that they don’t already know for sex. There are some things that can help make the transition. Here are a couple great tips for any new couple.
Find Out What it’s About
Before you jump in to a swinger’s event it’s a good idea to spend some time finding out what you can expect. Signing up for a forum will allow you to interact with other swingers and read about their experiences. You can also go to a few events before you decide to participate. Swingers are open to beginners since all swingers were first timers at some point. A lot of clubs will even allow new swingers to tour the facilities or attend an event for free just to see what it is and isn’t.
After you’ve explored the forums and toured a club or party, you can sit down and come up with a set of rules. These rules shouldn’t cover every single contingency, but it should be enough to keep jealousy at bay. The rules are golden and must be adhered to at all times. If you ever want to bend or break a rule, you need to talk with your partner about this before the fact to avoid issues later. All couples will have different rules. Those who only want to watch or be watched may have rules about not touching or being touched by others. Some will have rules regarding the acceptable types of sex that can occur with other couples. As you go on, the rules can evolve.
Many people assume that swinging is a deviant activity that only unhealthy couples participate in. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Swinging can only be pulled off by healthy, secure couples who have excellent communication skills. It can greatly enhance your current relationship. Here’s how.
In order to be successful at swinging you must be able to communicate with your partner. Couples that aren’t great at this art won’t make it far as swingers. You have to be able to come up with rules, be open with one another about what is a turn on and what isn’t, and be able to communicate while swinging to keep things going. Some couples have said that they became closer after a swinging experience because it opened these doors that weren’t previously realized beforehand.
Keeping It Fresh
No matter how great a lover your partner is, there is only so much that you can do with one another before things start to feel stale. Swinging couples have the luxury of adding new partners and new techniques to their bedroom without the fear of cheating or betraying their partner. This can increase the sensuality, and many people have said that the best sex they’ve had with their partner was after attending a swinger’s event. Once you’re with just your partner again, you can fantasize and relive the experiences while together, which will increase the sexual energy between the two people.
Finding couples to hook up with for occasional fun doesn’t have to be difficult. If you don’t know where to start or what to look for it can be overwhelming. Here are some good tips to help you find other couples who are serious.
Paid Dating Sites
Anyone can set up a profile on a free dating site and just waste others time. Even if they don’t intend to be a time waster, if they are on the fence about meeting it can turn in to a time waster. It’s worth the money to set up an account on a paid dating site instead. Here people have to pay a membership fee they aren’t as interested in just chatting. When money is involved people tend to be more serious. You can find sites that have low membership rates and offer short term memberships just so you can build your contact list.
What to Look For
You want to find other couples who seem to know what they are talking about. If they are too green, they may not be genuine about hooking up. Online chat and phone chat can be great, but if that’s all that ever happens you will just be left feeling disappointed. Look for couples who start wanting to schedule meetings, even if it’s just coffee to get to know one another, after a few chats. Also look at the photos they post. If the photos seem too good to be true, they probably are. You need to look for people who are real, and the photos can be the best way to determine this. Swingers aren’t all going to look like supermodels, so remember to keep it real.
Swinging is not a lifestyle that should be jumped in to without consideration. It requires a lot of work and discipline to make it work. There are several very important aspects you should consider before you decide to swing.
This is the single most important step before swinging is setting the boundaries. These will serve as a list of rules that you and your partner must follow to maintain the relationship. The reason this is important is because without this you don’t know what your partner is going to be okay with and what they will get upset about. It’s too difficult to pull away in the heat of the moment and constantly ask if it’s okay. Many couples choose to just watch or participate with one other person in the beginning. You need to know what turns you on, and what will make you jealous and feel betrayed. The boundaries and rules will evolve over time, and this ok.
Decide on the Type of Swinging
Another important aspect when it comes to setting boundaries is to figure out what type of swinging you are interested in. There are people who will only play for others to watch. Soft swingers will only have sex with one another, but may be okay with others having sex in the same area. A soft swap means that the partners are allowed to play with other couples, but without penetration. Decide what kind of actives interest you and set the rules from there.
If you’ve never been to a swingers club you may not be prepared for what to expect. While all clubs are slightly different, the best clubs will all have a few elements in common. Here are just a few things you can expect at some of the leading clubs throughout the country.
A good swingers club is going to protect their member’s privacy. You will need to hand over your ID or license to the club, but this won’t get shared with anyone. Once you are in, you may be asked to wear a name tag, but most clubs will allow you to use a stage or assumed name for this.
Another feature of the best swinging clubs around will be the level of security. You won’t see armed guards standing all over the place, but you should see cameras at the entrances and exits. You should also see staff posted throughout the club that is ready to assist anyone in need. Even if you just don’t want to deal with another patron who feels harassing, the posted employee should help you out and escort the member out.
The best swingers clubs will have several different rooms for play. You should find a few private rooms for intimate activities that you don’t want shared with the whole club. Larger playrooms for voyeurs and exhibitionists will also be found. Some of the best clubs will also have a dungeon area for those in to darker forms of play. A lounge is almost always provided for swingers to sit around and just chat. Some clubs will also have media rooms where there is porn on large televisions.